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Dear God

Yesterday I put my baby boy in a size 12 month outfit. I'm not ready for this. He is my baby. I'm not ready for him to hold a sippy cup, sit on his own or eat solid food. Wasn't he born just the other day? I remember it was a Saturday. Was it last Saturday or the one before that? Why is it that I'm already packing up bags full of clothing that he has outgrown? Why am I looking for rattles and toys instead of swaddling blankets and sleeper gowns? The newborn stage is much too fast. Don't get me wrong. I love this sweet little boy that smiles and laughs back at me. I love this angel that you have sent me that now rolls over on his own and looks at things with such intent that you know he is trying to figure them out. I love him. But I'm not ready for him to grow up. Would you please let him stay small just a little while longer? Let him continue to look at me with those eyes that say "You are loved more than anything" instead of with eyes that roll at me when I say it is homework time and not play time. Let him nurse. Let him sleep on my chest. Let him make squeaky baby noises, even if they must be made at 3am on a work night. Just please let him stay small, just for a little while longer.

Amen.

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